i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
