smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
