dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
