I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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