I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
