im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
