like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
