What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
