i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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