Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize