the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
