We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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