How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
