Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
