she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
