Whoa Z and x make the same sound
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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