thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
accomplished twins. life is a go
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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