Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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