so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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