Ambien. No doubt about it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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