He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
