Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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