so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
