the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
