Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
