why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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