three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
