If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
