careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
