Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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