just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
