I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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