susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize