you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
