i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
