my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
