i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
