member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
