I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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