Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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