she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
