Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
