Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am mentally ready for anal.
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