anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
