Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
