I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize