By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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