U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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