another moral hangover. fuck.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
