you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
