All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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