You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
