What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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