If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is my gift to your gina
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
