but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
