Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
