i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
