oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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