You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize