i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
