Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
