Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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