im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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