guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
