she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
