My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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